an f-ing huge headache

I really didn't think there was a bigger headache than my cancer. Turns out I was wrong. What with all the diagnoses, changes is status, medical and surgical treatments, treatments that don't work or cause side effects, doctors who come to you with all kinds of news, good or bad, waiting times, scheduling times, meeting other people who's diagnoses and treatment is either way worse or way better than you, people who get into clinical trials that you aren't a candidate for, even though you were hopeful to be in the trial, awful hospital parking lots, side effects from chemo, changes in taste buds, gaining weight, loosing weight, exhaustion from chemo, speed from steroids, staying away from germs, trying to eat out without crowds, trying to see movies without crowds, trying to use the new Wii you got from your family, but your too tired to stand up and work with it, having your husband do most of the cooking and housework cause you're too tired, driving a long commute and feeling like you could fall asleep at the wheel, bad weather and watching the snow flakes fall while toxic meds creep through the IV tube into your port, nurses who are afraid of your port because it tilts towards your left breast, the nurses faces when they're afraid but they don't want you to know about it, watching blood and plasma dripping into your chair mates arms while they smilingly talk to you during your treatment, being offered hospital Jello as a kind gesture during your treatment (yuck), having to wait even longer to schedule tests and even longer to get the tests done, not being able to sleep because of anxiety, taking your sleeping meds too late because you think you can sleep only to find you're wide awake at 1:30 and need to be on the road in 5 hours, to late to take something now~!!, nose running, nose bleeding, sore nose, peeling hands, peeling feet, swollen feet, swollen fingers, aches, pains, sensitive nerve endings in your scalp, in your fingers, freezing cold one minute, boiling hot and beet red the next.......... the list goes on and on and on and on......
Turns out, the worse things in life are still with interpersonal issues. You can take the rest on with a smile on your face, but when those close to you hurt you, it hurts you to your soul. It makes you angry and insecure and you feel guilty when you want to spurt out all that you are feeling.
My human spirit is so strong, yet so tender, make sure your care for yourself..... be strong when you must and cry when you need to. Always remember..... you and you're healing are the most important thing. It's your job and responsibility to get as well as possible, do the best you can. Try not to let others, bring you down, even when it's harder than you think possible.
Peace